Reverse Quit Nicotine turns into acid

Acts 9: 1-43

battery feeling creeping up the spine but expanding around and through the whole body, seeing it all the way down the hall.  talking outloud to Jesus and making sure he knows I'm willing to beg for help.  This is the one I can not do by myself.  Weed, Alcohol and Gambling I felt like I could be a contributor.  Nicotine kicks my ass every time.  I am seriously having to turn control of my whole body and soul over to Jesus to quit this habit.  I have to quit.  How can I face anyone quit ing anything if I don't.  What an amazing bridge of distance between the habits and stop points.  Maybe it was because nicotine was the last crutch and I was so infused.  Smoking at times with a dip in.  Pain from break ups and stupidity.  Chew all day long.  chew all night long.  Dampen the spirit with nicotine to keep me calm.  this is such a strange feeling.  reminds me of acid or mushrooms only it is being sober.  what a rush.  get high by saying no. save money, rush Jesus.

Hot Green Tea.  The sensation of Hot is Good to me.  Trying to leave sugar out because I have a tray of brownies, 1/2 gallon of ice cream and a bag of oreos in the kitchen waiting.  midnight'ish was last dip last night.  now it's 6:18 pm so roughly 18 hours to first major panic attack.

Write to share.  I want to do something useful with the freakout.  Ever feel the devil close by?  I do. I am going to be praying a lot.  I will NOT break.  I am handing this one over to Jesus.  Moments when time slips and I am sitting down to have a chew but its past and not now then it skips and I'm back so grab the book and pray.  Going to read Acts 9.  Talked about it today and Saul / Paul is on the way.  Read him before / later from prison to churches.  Paul is more hard than John in a way.  But understand now he was educated and bad.  Turned and found God. 

plan to read and then sleep.  try to sleep some of this away.  bit scared of waking up too early and being up all night but we shall see.  need to get a gym membership.  interesting that they are cheap membership now only $24/month compared to the $100/month in nicotine charges I probably spend plus $29.95 set up fee.  healthy is getting cheaper.  good news.