16 December 2 Corinthians 5:17 Mathew 7:7 10 days No Alcohol, Drugs or Gambling

I absolutablly believe that Jesus provides for me.  But I won't call myself a Christian yet.  I just came from a meeting and sat in a room full of professing Christians and told them that I am quitting drinking, weed and gambling but am not a Christian. 

Jesus provides for me.  Today I made a bad choice.  I was buying a book that was marked up to $7.99,. but I knew I could sell it for at least $25.  I took my stack of 5 books to the check out girl put the expensive one on the bottom.  Chatted her up and got out of there paying the usual $2.99 for the book because she just counted the books and didn't look at them closely.  I know this was wrong.  I did it anyway.  I will not do it again.  I mean that.

I came home put the book in the system, actually not for the lowest price, but for $34.99 and while I was at this meeting tonight it sold.  Jesus knows what I did, but for some reason he sold it anyway.  My net on this is $25.38 after shipping and purchase cost. 

Right now I'm pushing to get enough over my bottom line bankroll to pay child support and rent at the end of the month and I really do have faith that God/Jesus will get me there. 

2 Corinthians 5:17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!

Mathew 7:7 Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened for you. - New International Version

I pray that Jesus/God will help me become a new person and do the right things and say the right things.  I swear sometimes I don't know where the words that come out of my mouth come from.  I am angry and confrontational. 

I think part of why I won't call myself a Christian is because there is so much hypocracy is Religion.  I don't want to be a hypocrite.  I really want to do the right thing, and do what I say I'm going to do.  Like earlier this month I made a post about sending my ex an extra check for Christmas for the kids.  I did it.  Part of me wanted to hold back.  Angry about divorce, want her to feel hardship.  But that's not fair to kids.  I really love them even though they are on the other side of the country and I don't get to see them.  I did write the check and Jesus is taking care of me financially.

Thank you.

Okay.  So, not really a Bible study.  Just sharing and that's okay with me tonight.