Reading Revelation

22 December - 16 Days No Alcohol, No Weed & No Gambling

This is the first time reading Revelation.  I've underlined some things that stood out.  The plan is to read, reread and study it. 

Revelation 1: 3  Blessed is the one who reads the words of the propehecy, and blessed are those who hear it and take to heart what is written in it because the time is near. - NIV

Seems like a good start.

This is my take.  John is writing this.  He is filled with the Spirit and sees Jesus.  Jesus tells him to write down what he sees and send it to the seven churches. 

1.  Ephesus.  Rev 2: 4-5 Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken your first love. Remember the height from which you have fallen!  REPENT and do the things you did at first.
2.  Smyrna. Rev 2: 10 ...BE FAITHFUL, even to the point of death, and I will give you the crown of life.
3.  Pergamum. Rev 2:16 REPENT therefore!
4.  Thyatira 2:25 Only HOLD ON to what you have until I come.
5.  Sardis 3:1-2  I know your deeds; you have a reputation of being alive, but you are dead. WAKE UP!
6.  Philadelphia 3:11  I am coming soon. HOLD ON to what you have, so that no one will take your crown.
7.  Laodicea 3:19  Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline.  So be earnest, and REPENT.  Here I am! I stand at the door and knock.  If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me.

The instructions are clear; Be Faithful, Hold On, Repent and Wake Up! 

How do I apply this to my life? 

Start with the best one...Wake Up!  Still amazed at my life and how deep I was in selfish behavior.  I tried to justify playing poker as a second income but it took so much of my time.  It was my obsession.  I would work and get to a game.  Late nights, Sundays, Saturdays.  If I wasn't working I was playing poker.  Even when I was home I would "practice" online.  How much more effective I could have been at my work and family life if I would have put that energy into those activities instead of poker.  But I was sucked into the hope of the fast cash.  And I did win some tourneyments which made it even worse.  Pay $100 walk off with $2,000.  Reinforces the justification.  Reality is that happens one out of 10 times and you could play 6 or 7 hours and still walk away with nothing.  Still $14 an hour profit but then there are the bad streaks where you don't win 1 of 10, but more like 1 of 20 and you just break even.  So you've wasted your time for nothing.  I am just waking up to the fact that I put that first before everything. 

Nothing goes better with a good poker game than drinking.  It's easier to win fixed limit games while drinking than no limit games.  But the urge was always there, but I did keep it under control with no limit games.  Fixed Limit games I would get drunk, play and be loud and fun.  At one point I played every day for 3 months over 12 hours a day drinking from start to finish.  At that point I had walked away from my life and I really didn't care what happened.  Stupid.  Wake Up!  I am trying to realize just how deep I was in it when it didn't seem so bad but it was.  Wake Up!

Being faithful.  I am trying.  Praying on the phone.  Starting new relationships.  I made the call tonight, but just got voice mail.  I could have let that give me an excuse for not studying but I was still energized because I did my part.  I picked up the phone and made the call.  Then I sat down and started reading.  I made a small effort and was rewarded with energy.  Tomorrow I will write the big monthly support check even thought I'm not where I would like to be financially for the month, but there are 8 more days in the month to make rent and I really do have faith that God provides for me.  Today I got a lot of good things to sell online and I have 3 auctions on eBay scheduled to finish before the end of the month.  Jesus provides for me.  I will trust him, pray and ask for help.

Repent.  I am sorry for the things I did and the people that got hurt along the way.  I really am trying to change and to make better choices.  I was in control and I blew it.  Always trying to be in control without self-control. Wake Up! Now I ask Jesus for help. 

Hold On.  This one doesn't really fit me yet.  I'm new.  Seriously 16 days.  This one I see as for those who have lived right and face challenges.  Hold on.  You have to have a faith and walk to hold onto that I don't have yet.  But encouraging for them.. Hold on.  The time is near.

Weed is my continuing struggle for some reason.  I think it's because I can do it alone, out of sight and I do it when I'm bored.  I really do think about justifications.  Well weed is medicinal, sparks creativity, enhances experiences.....  Inside I know it isn't the right thing to be doing, so I haven't broken down.  I really thought gambling would have been the hardest because I really did love playing poker.  Just a sidenote.  Did have an interesting thought today? 

If someone is more peaceful and loving on weed than when sober could it be a good thing?  A guy a was talking to today stated, no because it is the weed that is being peaceful, not the real person.  I tend to agree because there isn't the core change.  The personality, the desire, the spirit of the person is under the influence of the drug.  If I want to change I have to change at the core.  What happens when the person runs out of weed?  Back to being an ass?