20 Days No Alcohol, No Weed & No Gambling
Mathew 5:14-16 "You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven. -NIV
I had a flash at the meeting tonight. Reading the Bible works. Sitting in a circle listening to other people who are doing the work to stay clean it hit me. These guys are reading the Bible and are staying sober. It really does work.
I feel advantaged because even before I started this I had pretty well isolated myself. I think that makes it easier. I am comfortable spending time alone. Yes I get bored sometimes that is when the weed came in. There were times when I would reward myself for successful work by going up the mountain and playing poker and drinking or just going down the street for the bar tab poker game. I still get those urges especially to get high, but instead I crack open the Bible or another book about the Bible and I get caught up in the study. I control my compulsive behavior or at least redirect it.
The guys in the group talk about the Bible passages they read and what it does for them. It is working for them. It is working for me. In the past I would have thought that they were weak and looking for a crutch. Alcohol, Drugs and Gambling were weak. I was out of control. Yes it is fun. Then the fun ends and you wake up. I used all those things and my isolation to run away and hide from my bad behavior and bad relationships. Now I am working on building new relationships and trying to do the right thing. So are they. That isn't weakness. It isn't weakness to pray for help when you can't do it on your own. Pray to have a relationship with Jesus is the first thing I am suppose to do. I recognized that tonight in a better light because they guys were talking about what they were doing. They were a light to me. It helped.
In my business I am going to have to make an adjustment because one of my suppliers is now a competitor. So I need to find other things to sell online and another place to get them. So my plan is to start waking up at 7 am and do a Bible reading with some coffee before I start the day. The snow slowed me down and having fewer places to get stuff has slowed me down. Regardless, Jesus takes care of me and I've sold enough to pay my bills and hold my reserve. I have 30 days to make the adjustment, make money and pay next months bills. I know that I will be able to do it because I am going to pray about it every day. I am also going to pray for the guys in my group who stand out to me.
20 days and starting to know some names and faces. 20 days without breaking. 20 days trying to get to know God because I really do feel that he takes care of me.
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